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THE MOTHER & THE CARER

Dionne Simpson-Amuah • Jan 15, 2021

A woman’s work is never done and especially one who is raising a child with additional needs.

Raising a child does not come without its challenges.  

Particularly as a mother, during the pregnancy stages you are constantly trying to get past each milestone whether it be week 12 or week 36. 

You are never fully prepared for the levels of exhaustion that having a baby brings, but you are somewhat secure in the knowledge that as the years go by the load will lighten somewhat.

So, what do you do when you are faced with the prospect of being a carer and a mother for the foreseeable future? Who can prepare a young mother just starting out in life for that?

What happens when you aren’t part of a strong support network and your child’s father spends most of his time being absent?

Speaking as a mother, I know how hard it is with a child that doesn’t have any additional needs. I have felt exhausted, cried from fatigue, had the feelings of self-doubt and all with having an amazing village to support me.
Katie Price

It has been reported today that Katie Price has taken the decision to place son Harvey into full time care.  She has come under some scrutiny on social media following this decision.


I think its fair to say that most of the people who have something to say probably are not carers for their children or can at least understand how taxing it can be.

Back in 2018 i had a discussion with alyx simpson about the challenges she has faced being a mother and carer to her son who has additional needs.


Listening and understanding Alyx’s story has me in wonderment as to how she has made it this far.


The majority of us are hardwired to innately protect our offspring at all costs. Mankind and the animal kingdom could not survive if it was not for Mother Nature supplying us with that extra something to keep us going in those moments that we felt at our weakest. 


The saying that ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ should be one that we all should take more seriously.  


A generation or two ago, it was more than likely that your family would live in the same compound, on the same land or at least only a few roads away. Child rearing was a shared task amongst everyone and whilst Im sure there were a mass of pressures back then , going it alone was more than likely a rarity (depending where you came from).


In this podcast we have focused on Alyx’s present position of being a mother, however there is more to her story which makes her survival even more profound.


Amongst her many talents and businesses, Alyx has documented her feelings via poetry. I am hoping you can draw more of a better understanding from her words and feelings.


I don’t wanna be a mum


I don’t wanna clean your room


I don’t wanna live by your terms


I don’t want to be kept inside


I don’t want to be stopped from dreaming


I wanna live


I want my freedom


The freedom I never had


But I’ll stay here


I clean your room


I’ll live to make you happy


Even at my own misery


I’ll stay inside


I’ll put my dream to the side


I’ll die a little


I’ll relinquish my right to freedom


I’ll live by my choices


I’ll handle my responsibilities


I’ll even enjoy it sometimes


Because a mum loves her creation more than herself


Mum’s come last…….


~ Alyx Simpson

 

you can purchase her poetry book titled 'naked' via amazon and is also available for free on kindle.


From the outside looking in you can never fully understand what load someone has to deal with mentally. You will never know how much effort it may have taken to answer your call and give you reciprocated energy.


Listen to Alyx’s story of having her son at 26 weeks who now has autism as well as a growth hormone deficiency with little to no support and how she has managed this far.


You can now listen on Spotify and Apple Music on your mobile devices.


If you would like more information on anything covered in today’s podcast, please visit our resources page.


Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the  episode.


Take care of yourselves.


Dionne

Co-Parenting featuring Aaron (Raising Boys 2 Men)

by Dionne Simpson • 13 Jul, 2022
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards. yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do. sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone. one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?' . if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first. realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider: To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent. To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship. These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.

Why Quitting My Corporate Role Was My Biggest Act Of Self Care

by Dionne Simpson • 06 Jul, 2022
this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Dionne Love Laid Bare Podcast

The Orgasm Gap

by Dionne Simpson • 22 Jun, 2022
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap

How Numerology Can Help You ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson-Amuah • 21 Apr, 2021
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers

Soul Ties & Sexual Healing ft Tay Burke (Spiritual Alchemist)

by Dionne Simpson • 07 Apr, 2021
Quite simply, sex with the right person that aligns with you can be a very fulfilling experience. UNFORTUNATELY, THE MESSAGES THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOCIETY, CULTURE AND RELIGION MAY HAVE ALTERED OUR VIEW OF SEX AND NOT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT WAY.

Becoming Dad: The Untold Story

by Dionne Simpson • 02 Apr, 2021
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting. For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young. As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic. He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.

Understanding & Defining Spirituality Ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson • 24 Mar, 2021
As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.

A Dose Of Dionne - The Games People Play

by Dionne Simpson • 17 Mar, 2021
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!

How To Be A Conscious Parent

by Dionne Simpson • 10 Mar, 2021
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:

A Dose Of Dionne - Behind Her Eyes Spoiler Alert!!!

by Dionne Simpson • 03 Mar, 2021
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
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