Coming out of a near 20 year relationship and a shorter marriage, publicly discussing marriage was rattling. Ever the professional, you won't hear my voice crack in this episode at all. Whilst I have no regrets in leaving my own marriage it is still one of those areas of discussion where you feel not many will understand, unless they have been married themselves. My therapist often warned me about spilling the beans on my marriage before I had truly healed from it. Initially I rolled my eyes (little did she know I had been sharing bits and pieces here and there on Love Laid Bare), but I eventually understood why. Had I decided to speak about my own marriage prior to having therapy, I don’t think I could have spoken about things from a fair viewpoint. Being separated for a number of years and enjoying the experience of meeting a wealth of different people, it gave me an opportunity to see myself outside the view of the eyes of those who love and know me. As hard as it was to admit, I had my own faults that I had to take accountability for. I was passive aggressive, inspector Cluedo and slightly controlling (heavy on the slightly). On the positive side I was traditional, homely and did all the things a ‘good wife’ should do. I soon realised that there was nothing more I could personally do to save my marriage. I had compromised my self-love, self-value and self-respect to try and stick by my marriage. I remember my therapist listening to me in despair at how matter of fact I was when describing some of the things I had been through. Being matter of fact about everything was my trauma response.