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Becoming Dad: The Untold Story

Dionne Simpson • Apr 02, 2021

"when i found out i was having a child, i felt sick!"

After I had the idea of building this platform, my aim was to reach parents and adults that have been affected by their childhoods or both.  There are enough initiatives for children and young adults, but I wanted a place for the grown-ups to reflect, find solace and learn from someone else’s story.


As Love Laid Bare is approaching its third year, I have reflected back over the many different conversation’s I’ve had.  One of my very first interviews was about the father and child relationship and it is still an area that I will continuously cover. 

That is not to say that mothers can’t have equal effects on their children, but interestingly enough I have only had one mother who came onto the podcast to talk about how hard parenting was for her. Do women have a harder time admitting that sometimes they just can’t measure up for whatever reason? Or is that society punishes women harder for failing their parenting role? That may have to be a discussion for another day… 
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting.
For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young.

As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic.
He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.

He described feeling that same sense or fear that you’ll hear about in this episode and his actual first comment was that he felt ‘sick’. He didn’t feel prepared, wasn’t in a relationship with the mother and hadn’t considered the full ramifications of not protecting himself whilst having sexual relations with someone he was not committed to or even wanted to have a relationship with.


Whilst this week’s guest had very good and long-term intentions for his relationship, their two separate scenarios still ran parallel, in the sense that they both were just not ready to be fathers. Another parallel is that they both felt like they didn’t have anyone to talk to about it and equally did not have any type of dealings with the mother until the child was born. This type of distance can create a sense of detachment and whether this contributed to what happened later in their journeys when they were both estranged from their children, is something to be considered.


Both equally spoke of having their fathers present to some extent but not necessarily having that relationship at the time when it would’ve been beneficial.


In this week's episode I am joined by Kieron Fish from the Different World Podcast.

Kieron shares the other side of the story about fatherhood that isn't often heard.

From becoming a dad in his teenage years, battling to see his daughter through the court system, experiencing the loss of a child soon after birth and adjusting to fatherhood with his two boys. This episode is geared at hearing and forming an understanding from the father's side as well as the affects this type of trauma can have on a man.

You can listen to The Different World Podcast on Youtube.

You can follow Kieron on Instagram - www.instagram.com/wstldnsmayor_

If you are affected by anything we discuss in this episode, please visit our Resources Page for a list of support services.

**My 'How To Build Self Awareness' free Ebook is now available to download from the home page of the website! Click here!

Follow and subscribe to Love Laid Bare, I'd really appreciate it ; ) 

Are you listening on Apple Podcasts? Would you mind leaving a 5 star review! It would mean a lot! : )

If you’re looking for a Black or Asian therapist please contact www.baatn.org.uk or visit our resources page .

If you have any questions or would like to discuss podcast sponsorship, email Dionne Simpson at info@lovelaidbare.com

Thank you for reading this post and i hope you can reflect on this episode with some compassion.  you can also watch this episode on youtube! Click here


Take care of yourselves xx

Co-Parenting featuring Aaron (Raising Boys 2 Men)

by Dionne Simpson • 13 Jul, 2022
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards. yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do. sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone. one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?' . if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first. realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider: To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent. To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship. These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.

Why Quitting My Corporate Role Was My Biggest Act Of Self Care

by Dionne Simpson • 06 Jul, 2022
this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Dionne Love Laid Bare Podcast

The Orgasm Gap

by Dionne Simpson • 22 Jun, 2022
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap

How Numerology Can Help You ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson-Amuah • 21 Apr, 2021
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers

Soul Ties & Sexual Healing ft Tay Burke (Spiritual Alchemist)

by Dionne Simpson • 07 Apr, 2021
Quite simply, sex with the right person that aligns with you can be a very fulfilling experience. UNFORTUNATELY, THE MESSAGES THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOCIETY, CULTURE AND RELIGION MAY HAVE ALTERED OUR VIEW OF SEX AND NOT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT WAY.

Becoming Dad: The Untold Story

by Dionne Simpson • 02 Apr, 2021
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting. For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young. As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic. He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.

Understanding & Defining Spirituality Ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson • 24 Mar, 2021
As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.

A Dose Of Dionne - The Games People Play

by Dionne Simpson • 17 Mar, 2021
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!

How To Be A Conscious Parent

by Dionne Simpson • 10 Mar, 2021
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:

A Dose Of Dionne - Behind Her Eyes Spoiler Alert!!!

by Dionne Simpson • 03 Mar, 2021
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
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