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Co-Parenting featuring Aaron (Raising Boys 2 Men)
Dionne Simpson • 13 July 2022
what is it about co-parenting that makes healthy communication so difficult?
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards.
yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do.
sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone.
one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?'.
if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first.
realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider:
- To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent.
- To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship.
These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.
In this weeks episode I am joined by returnee guest and Co-parenting expert Aaron, the founder of @Raisingboys 2 Men .
We discuss why healthy communication is important and should the 'Co' be dropped from Co-parenting? What are your thoughts? Leave your comments below!
You can follow Aaron on YouTube, Instagram & TikTok @Raisingboys_2men
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this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers
Quite simply, sex with the right person that aligns with you can be a very fulfilling experience. UNFORTUNATELY, THE MESSAGES THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOCIETY, CULTURE AND RELIGION MAY HAVE ALTERED OUR VIEW OF SEX AND NOT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT WAY.
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting. For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young. As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic. He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.
As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
Coming out of a near 20 year relationship and a shorter marriage, publicly discussing marriage was rattling. Ever the professional, you won't hear my voice crack in this episode at all. Whilst I have no regrets in leaving my own marriage it is still one of those areas of discussion where you feel not many will understand, unless they have been married themselves. My therapist often warned me about spilling the beans on my marriage before I had truly healed from it. Initially I rolled my eyes (little did she know I had been sharing bits and pieces here and there on Love Laid Bare), but I eventually understood why. Had I decided to speak about my own marriage prior to having therapy, I don’t think I could have spoken about things from a fair viewpoint. Being separated for a number of years and enjoying the experience of meeting a wealth of different people, it gave me an opportunity to see myself outside the view of the eyes of those who love and know me. As hard as it was to admit, I had my own faults that I had to take accountability for. I was passive aggressive, inspector Cluedo and slightly controlling (heavy on the slightly). On the positive side I was traditional, homely and did all the things a ‘good wife’ should do. I soon realised that there was nothing more I could personally do to save my marriage. I had compromised my self-love, self-value and self-respect to try and stick by my marriage. I remember my therapist listening to me in despair at how matter of fact I was when describing some of the things I had been through. Being matter of fact about everything was my trauma response.
