"Encouraging you to deal with your traumas,
before your traumas deal with you!"
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LIVING FREE
Dionne Simpson-Amuah • 4 September 2019
How many of you reading this, can take the notion of ‘living free’
for granted?
When you wake up in the morning you don’t actively have to wear a mask to disguise who you are. Whether you like who you are or not, you can be authentically yourself.
Of course, particularly in working life, you may have to scale back on some parts of your personality in order to ‘fit in’ and to be seen as a ‘professional’, particularly if you happen to be in the minority.
However, can there be anyone as torn as someone who is trying to hide their sexuality? I can only imagine it being like a trapped child, looking out through a crack in the window and seeing everyone else play whilst you remain inside.
What if you lived in a country that actively persecuted you because of the attraction you have to a gender that you cannot control?
It was important for me to cover this topic as we are in the fourth season of Love Laid Bare, and have not yet touched upon the complexities and hardships within the Black LGBTQ+ community.
I for one have close friends and family who are gay and who live as they choose, without any immediate harm or fear.
You would think that in 2019, 52 years after ‘homosexual acts were decriminalised’ that there would be much further strides in people being able to be honest about who they are without the fear of rejection and/or abuse.
Growing up as a Black British girl of Jamaican descent, music was the only thing that I recall that constantly reminded me that being gay was allegedly an absolute abhorrence. From Beenie Man to Buju Banton, Sizzla and Capleton; all of these artists would sometimes dedicate huge sections of their songs to the verbal abuse of gay men in particular.
What I had always found interesting was that Jamaica itself had bigger problems. Child rape and sexual abuse of young girls had very harsh and wounding statistics. Why wasn’t there a focus on these paedophiles that were hurting girls in our families, more of an issue to protest about?
Why is there such hysteria about men who are gay in comparison to the more apparent ills of the world?
"The Bible says it’s wrong! Bun down a Sodomite!" *snores*
Let’s be very honest here, the bible says a lot of things are wrong, including fornication. How many of us will be actively engaging in fornication soon after listening to this podcast or reading this blog?
I came across tonights guest on twitter, due to his tweet going viral. My heart swelled when I felt the euphoria he felt. The freedom of being in love and loving who you choose in public, must be exhilarating when you’ve closed yourself down for so long.
My hope is that this episode will help the listeners who are still on the fence, or firmly planted on the other side, see the humanity of people who identify as LGBT+.
You can also listen on Spotify, iTunes, Castbox, Apple Podcasts and all other podcast listening platforms. Download now!
I’d like to commend Dan for finally living and speaking his truth, whilst also building a platform for people who need the support he never had.
You can follow him on instagram @livingfree_uk.
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards. yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do. sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone. one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?' . if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first. realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider: To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent. To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship. These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.
this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers
Quite simply, sex with the right person that aligns with you can be a very fulfilling experience. UNFORTUNATELY, THE MESSAGES THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOCIETY, CULTURE AND RELIGION MAY HAVE ALTERED OUR VIEW OF SEX AND NOT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT WAY.
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting. For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young. As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic. He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.
As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
