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MY FATHERLESS JOURNEY

Dionne Simpson-Amuah • Jul 16, 2019
Being ‘fatherless’ is seemingly a common narrative. Whatever the reason is, you would be hard pressed to find someone who has not been affected deeply by their fathers absence.

How many of us can put up our hand and say that we suffered with either having no father present at all, or had a father that was inconsistent with a barrel of promises?

Let me just say from the jump, that has not been my experience. I was raised by both parents who are still together 40 odd years later. Now whilst I wouldn’t say that it has always been perfect, he has always been there and still very much is. The real truth is that no relationship is perfect, but I am grateful for it all the same..

So whilst I would consider myself to be quite privileged (lucky even), it has not been the same for everyone, and weirdly it can make you feel a bit uncomfortable.


There are many reasons as to why men don’t ‘show up’ for their children. This has always been an area of interest to me, especially since I now have my own child. Physiologically, I am wired to protect my daughter at all costs and its a feeling I have no control over. I am her safe space and even considering the thought of not being present shatters my heart into a thousand pieces.


"There is no ‘one size fits all’ to this dilemma".


In this episodes example, it isn’t that Aaron never knew his dad in any capacity. His dad was somewhat present in the early days and made random appearances throughout his childhood and into teenage years. For me, one of the main things I found painful about listening to Aarons story, was that he lived on the same estate as his dad and half siblings. This proximity did nothing to establish an actual relationship with his siblings and he was left effectively watching from the sidelines.


The feelings of abandonment are enough in itself, but to have your family a stones throw away and not be able to engage must have been crippling emotionally.


I do not want to give too much of Aarons story away, but minus a few a things, his is a common story unfortunately. Why do some fathers struggle with maintaining that bond and contact with their child, after the relationship breaks down? Is it more to do with the complex relationship with the mother? Has the role of feminism played a hand in this? Can we lay part blame to society? How much does human biology play its part in this?


The truth is, it’s a very complex conversation.


The truth is, it’s a very complex conversation. There is no universal reason as to why some fathers don’t remain active in their children lives, but is it a coincidence that the vast majority of parents who are not active tend to be men? Biologically, if the roles were reversed, would we find that some women might also behave in the same way?



These questions are merely food for thought. There is no ‘one size fits all’ response to this particular dilemma. Luckily we have people like Aaron of Raising Boys To Men, who are trying to change the narrative with their platforms. Follow him on Youtube and Instagram. His overall message is that of supporting fathers to build better relationships with their children.


My Fatherless Journey


I hope you enjoy this episode and please leave your thoughts in the comments below.


Take Care



Dionne xx

Co-Parenting featuring Aaron (Raising Boys 2 Men)

by Dionne Simpson • 13 Jul, 2022
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards. yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do. sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone. one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?' . if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first. realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider: To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent. To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship. These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.

Why Quitting My Corporate Role Was My Biggest Act Of Self Care

by Dionne Simpson • 06 Jul, 2022
this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Dionne Love Laid Bare Podcast

The Orgasm Gap

by Dionne Simpson • 22 Jun, 2022
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap

How Numerology Can Help You ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson-Amuah • 21 Apr, 2021
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers

Soul Ties & Sexual Healing ft Tay Burke (Spiritual Alchemist)

by Dionne Simpson • 07 Apr, 2021
Quite simply, sex with the right person that aligns with you can be a very fulfilling experience. UNFORTUNATELY, THE MESSAGES THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOCIETY, CULTURE AND RELIGION MAY HAVE ALTERED OUR VIEW OF SEX AND NOT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT WAY.

Becoming Dad: The Untold Story

by Dionne Simpson • 02 Apr, 2021
We’ve discussed having a stepfather from a child’s perspective, absentee fathers (again from the child’s perspective) as well as the challenges of co-parenting. For this episode and blog, I wanted to talk to the men who had struggled for various reasons whilst having their children relatively young. As I was writing this blog, my uncle just happened to be at my parents’ house, so I invited him to share his thoughts on the topic. He had his first son at 21 and struggled to maintain a relationship with his eldest son until he was old enough to come and look for him.

Understanding & Defining Spirituality Ft Lorraine Whyte

by Dionne Simpson • 24 Mar, 2021
As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.

A Dose Of Dionne - The Games People Play

by Dionne Simpson • 17 Mar, 2021
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!

How To Be A Conscious Parent

by Dionne Simpson • 10 Mar, 2021
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:

A Dose Of Dionne - Behind Her Eyes Spoiler Alert!!!

by Dionne Simpson • 03 Mar, 2021
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
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