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SISTERHOOD
Dionne Simpson-Amuah • Dec 05, 2018
Todays podcast is somewhat inspired by a Facebook group that I am a member of. Ironically the group is called ‘In Celebration of Sisterhood’, and I do believe it does what it says on the tin.
It’s an open forum of honest and witty advice from ladies of various ages, who I believe in some aspects share the same basic goals. We all want to live full, enriched lives and are happy to share our problems amongst this small community of a sisters.
However, lets not get it confused. Any non-sensical scenarios or bad attitudes will be dealt with accordingly and oftentimes with the tough love that is needed.
We do not always agree but there is a strong sense of mutual respect and I personally haven’t witnessed anyone being dragged to hell with any foul-mouthed expletives conjured up by Satan himself.
Isn’t that what Sisterhood is all about? If I class you as my sister, good friend, close friend, best friend or even just a ‘friend’, I am bound by the laws of what the sisterhood entails. If we could all work from the same page then we would understand that most of the time, the things we say, which may sound harsh are always done out of love.
What does ‘Sisterhood’ mean to you? What are the laws that govern it if there are any at all?
Sometimes there is a danger in making assumptions to what is acceptable with a friendship and how you behave outside of it. We are not all the same and our individual morals vary widely. What you may consider as a complete taboo, your friend may not think in the same way as you do. How do you approach that?
Is it possible to maintain a deep meaningful relationship if
you are clearly going in two different directions in life?
Whilst I may consider myself to be the most laid back, always ready to listen and easiest going person, over time more than a few friendships have fallen by the wayside.
All ended for a variety of reasons and all but one were left in a very calm manner.
Personally, I have always operated an open door policy. Whilst I am understanding and somewhat flexible, I can’t tell anyone how to feel. So when you are over it and you’re ready to come back, I will be here waiting with open arms. That doesn’t mean I am in the wrong, it just means that I am not going bother my spirit with your absence.
There have been times when I have done this to my own detriment, but I am slowly learning how to implement the boundaries and learn how to love from a safe distance.
There isn’t one failed friendship that I look back at in anger. I understand that everything and everyone has a reason and a season.
I would say that disappointment is probably more of a valid feeling.
So what are the laws of sisterhood? Ive never really thought about it, but essentially do onto me that you would have done onto yourself. Before I do anything that may affect someone else, I try and put myself in their position and consider my actions from there.
Here is a small list of things that are personally important to me within my own sisterhood and what Ive learnt over the years:-
- Be the person that I can lean on for emotional support, love, laughter, good times and vice versa.
- If you see me slacking in any area, you have the authority to advise me to level up!
- When I am wrong, tell me! Even if I argue and can’t see the wood from the tree’s, still tell me.
- If I come to you to vent, never assume I am always looking for a solution. Sometimes I just want you to listen.
- Never covet another woman’s partner, either within the sisterhood or outside of it. If you do, understand you will hear my mouth.
- If I upset you, please tell me before I see indirects on social media (that hasn’t happened in a long time but its still worth putting it out there).
- Whilst I love the intimacy of a sisterhood, I also love my space. You should not be offended if I don’t make contact daily.
- Its important to stay out of mutual friends relationships. Be only a sounding board unless they both ask you to be involved in the situation that requires mediation.
There is a lot more I could have added to this list, but I would be interested in hearing what your expectations are within your own sisterhood? Drop them in the comments below.
So we are quickly drawing to the end of the year and I may release another two episodes, but we will see. I am hoping to have a ‘Sisterhood Season’ in 2019 where we can have some heavy conversations about our relationships with each other, so stay tuned.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog and the podcast platforms. We are on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Soundcloud.
As always thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this weeks episode!
Take care of yourselves!
Dionne
personally, as soon as I was faced with the notion that my relationship with my ex-husband would not survive, we discussed at length how we would conduct ourselves. We discussed finances, how we would deal with future relationships, mutually agreed on how we would parent and left no stone unturned. our daughters well-being was the priority and everything else came afterwards. yet, despite these discussions and writing things on paper, we still faced some of the same hurdles that millions of other co-parents do. sometimes it is nearly impossible to avoid friction at some point in the journey, particularly when everything is fresh and new to everyone. one question I always ask myself when it comes to co-parenting in the face of adversity is, 'does this benefit my daughter?' . if the answer is no, I just won't allow myself to behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to her or the co-parenting relationship. does that mean I back down? no. but what it means is that I approach all conversations and disagreements respectfully and as calmly as possible. a breakdown in healthy communication gets neither party anywhere, and if both are sincere and care enough, the Childs needs will always come first. realistically, Things may not always go smoothly when co-parenting. It helps to be clear about what your most important goals are for the future. Here are two that you might want to consider: To commit to supporting your children in having a free and uncomplicated relationship with the other parent. To keep whatever feelings you have about each other separate from your co-parenting relationship. These principles can serve as foundations for everything you do as co-parents.
this episode is probably the hardest one I have ever published, but quitting my corporate role was one of my biggest acts of self care. even as I type this, I am feeling quite sad and vulnerable. nothing has been more damaging to my self esteem than working in the insurance industry. some people may watch, read or listen to this episode and say that I am a fool for staying as long as I did, or that maybe I should have taken this company to an employment tribunal. however, back then terms such as 'microaggressions' or 'covert racism' were not that popular and how I would even build a case against them? how could I cite that their refusal to give me a blackberry to do my job efficiently was a sign of racism? had this been in more recent times, maybe things may have been different, but I am also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I had people close to me scorn me for leaving without finding something else, but 'who the cap fits, let them wear it!'. I was drained, exhausted, broken and I mentally could not go on. despite the negative responses I received, all that mattered to me was that my then husband was supportive of my decisions and he backed me all the way. I must credit him for his understanding at that time and I am grateful for the space he gave me to get back on my feet.
Episode 2, season 8! The Orgasm Gap
In this week's episode I am joined by returnee guest, Lorraine Whyte, to discuss the benefits and insight that numerology can give you, alongside identifying any trauma that may need to be worked upon. Discussion points: -Numerology and its definition -How numerology offers insight to your life's purpose and beyond -Can you change your life's plan? -The truth about manifesting -Dionne gets her own personal reading & forecast for 2021 -Trauma and karmic lessons -Numerology for business -Angel numbers
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As i mention at the top of this episode, i have wanted to explore this topic for a while. i know the limits of my spiritual knowledge and therefore needed to have this discussion with someone who knows their stuff unapologetically. growing up in a christian family, attending church every sunday and going to a faith based school surely should have kept me within the borders of my religion. yet, from a young age i just knew that there were some things that didn't sit right or make sense to me.
in this episode of a dose of dionne, i reflect on some of the experiences i have had with meeting new people. Having been 'out of the game' for a while, i don't think i genuinely had a good idea about the interactions people have in the dating world. i can honestly say that i have met some truly amazing people and each person has given me some food for thought or added to my growth as a person. I refer to a previous episode with victor granville called the search for real love which goes a bit deeper into some of the things i mention in this episode. Please have a listen if you need to!
In this weeks episode I am joined by Nicole Henry, child psychologist and therapist as we discuss how we can adopt better ways in parenting. you can follow or get into contact with nicole on instagram or via her website - www.thenicolehenry.com the episode is available to listen below:
For me to dedicate a whole episode to a TV series, my regular listeners will know that I must be quite rattled. Lol! Behind her eyes was a brilliant series, a frustrating series and an ‘Oh My God’ type of psychological series. This is a spoiler alert so if you have not watched the series or if you intend on watching the series, please do not listen to this episode. I repeat, do not listen to this episode!! This is a VERY candid, off the cuff episode so please be warned there will be some profanity used because the series was that good!!!
